Good old snake-hips, author of Confessio, and a much more nervous man than you’d expect.
He stole the car. He stole the car and crashed it into the fence and died and went to heaven and came back because it wasn’t his time or because there wasn’t enough room there or in the other place. Whatever the reason Tom ‘Bopper’ Keys came back, yes.
Tom ‘Bopper’ Keys was returned unto the earthly Earth. That much was certain.
“You will find it all rather difficult I’m afraid. Going back will be confusing, but we’ve decided that, as most of this was our fault, we’re going to remove your sense of fear as a bonus”, explained his rather forlorn and embarrassed spirit guide. No names, no pack drill.
It was St Patrick, of course. Good old snake-hips Pádraig, author of Confessio, and a much more nervous man than you’d expect.
“Oh, righto, no worries then, cheers”, said Tom looking from purgatory into the world and not seeing much of it.
“Is it working yet?”
“No, not yet, it won’t start working until you’re back on earth.”
Then Boom! There he was, inside a box, under the ground, with only foetid air. He was returned again but not born again.
“Bugger it,” he considered as he began scratching languorously as his new ceiling panel, “Bugger it, this is going to take some time,” he continued.
“You’re not afraid though, are you?”, queried Saint Pat.
“No, no I’m not.”
“Right-ho. No worries then. I’ll look in on you after tea. Take care now.”
Tom nodded and to dig his way out patiently.
The End
